I haven’t written a blog post in nearly a year. I could tell you it is because I was so busy this year that I didn’t have a free moment to digest what was going on and write, but that is not the whole truth. I could have found the time to write. Yes, this past year (school year, teachers definition of year) has been crazy busy, difficult, and challenging. Yet at the same time it was beautiful. I witnessed God move in many hearts, provide miracles, and deepen my faith more than I thought possible. Yet every time I sat down to write excuses would flood my thoughts.
- It’s been too long
- You’re not a good writer anyway
- You can’t possibly articulate what God has been doing in your life and those around you
- What you have to say is more discouraging than encouraging
- Nobody really has time or wants to read this anyway
It was only when my mom asked about the tenth time to write again, this time subtly by sending an email with the link to my blog and a cheeky emoji, then I began to pray about writing again. God began to show me how selfish I had been. Deep down I was more worried about the glory/attention or lack thereof, that I would receive from writing a blog post. NOT about the glory HE would receive. I was not thinking about the hearts that he had planned to touch through my broken words, for I am nothing but a vessel for Him to move. Whether the words he speaks through me touches one person or many, He does not care. For He is the God who leaves the 99, Matthew 18:12-14.
He just wants to be with you-whoever you are, reading these words-He wants to speak to you, He wants you to know that you are loved, not forgotten.
Therefore, I want to apologize for taking so long to tell you the amazing ways God moved in my life and those around me during one of the most difficult times I have ever experienced. I will try to summarize in short, this past year and share a few things that God taught me through it all.
Proverbs 3:5 was our school verse for the 2018-2019 year. When I heard this for the first time, I knew God was going to test me/us in our trust in Him. However, there is no way I could have predicted what was to come. December 2018 marked the closing of AIS (American International School), and reopening under new ownership. With that came a roller coaster of emotions, a long season of transition, and difficult period of growth in Christ. God convicted me over and over in my own actions as I faced disappointment, friends moving away, loss of comfort and security in work and finances, negativity, and bitterness. He showed me how broken I am, and how desperately I need Him each moment of the day. He also showed me how His ways and thoughts are higher than our own, that He can bring life from the ashes, and that He will continue to move mountains through those He loves despite our mistakes and brokenness. Below are a few key things He taught me during this season.
- He hears our prayers and answers them, but usually not in the way we thought He would.
- Isaiah 55:9, Matthew 7:7
- He is the God of Miracles then and now
- John 11:1-44, John 14: 12-14
- He works through me even when I feel inadequate-bringing more glory to His Name
- 2 Corinthians 4:7-12, 2 Corinthians 12:1-10
- Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths…” (if we are honest, this one is hard)
- Ephesians 4:29
- Salvation in Him, Knowing Jesus Christ is more important than anything this world can give me
- Philippians 3:8
As I start this new school year, my fourth year at AIS, I am overjoyed and blessed to be able to witness God moving through the hearts of our community once again. I am also grateful for the past year; no matter how difficult it was, because it brought me ever closer to my Father. The people reading this blog will never truly understand what I went through this past year, just as I will never be able to understand the difficult circumstances you are facing at this time. Yet there is a God who does understand. He understands and cares deeply for you. Trust in Him. Not in yourself. Not in others. Trust in Him. Lean into Him and He will give you more joy, peace, and comfort than you could ever imagine.
Thank you for your prayers, and God Bless!
A few pictures of one of the sweetest times of 2019. Thank you Jen, Diane, and Aunt Lisa for coming to visit me, had so much fun! Love you all, come back soon!